Tuesday 11 January 2011

HAPPY NEW DECADE,I'M GETTING OVER THE FESTIVE DEBAUCHERY,I'M LOSING THE WEIGHT ..DOWN TO 36 STONE AND FALLING!

After the disgusting over indulgencies of the festive debaucheries, it is now next year ,no, hold ,it is now the next decade. So happy new year and great new decade. I've got to get my booze- ridden; chocolate stuffed; food scoffed; telly watching unmoving sprawled (for weeks now) form into some kind of workable condition. Now i'm not talking going to the gymn to hone my body in the furnace of my will; to run marathons and equally silly things like that. Just to stand up under my own power and be able to walk the 15 feet or so to the downstairs bog'd do. I'm on a strict regime of diet and excercise......I'm changing channels twice as often on the remote control, using both thumbs and i'm down to 3 boxes of Quality street a day. And it seems to be working, the weight is falling off me. 36 stone and counting.
The family ,gawd bless us one n all have been coughing n spluttering for the last few weeks. I ,due to my regime of excercise and good healthy living have been spared ,plague ,flying pig flu and all the other festive lurgies that have beset our fine land and bunged up our health system as solid as a schoolboys snotty nose. But joking aside the LOVELY LYNNE has come down with a belter of a dose of PLEURISEY. I had 'a dose', years ago and can vouch for how much fun it is to have your inflamed lung linings ,(pleural cavities to those like me who've got biology qualifications)...rubbing against your rib cage. This results in a wonderful combination of feeling like shit and being in agony. Oh how i remember the joys of having a coughing fit whilst your lungs scrape against your ribs, as my beloved is discovering for herself even as i type.
To add to her joyous introduction to the new decade, we had booked train tickets and hotel rooms to go to London to see THE WHO in concert and go to a cartoonist do the following night. So thats up the spout....So thats how our new decade is kicking off, only 9 years 11 m0nths and a lump of days 'till the next one ,lets see how that one compares.

6 comments:

Thud said...

Sorry to hear about that Tim, the last month has been a pain for all with splutters and snot abounding...be a good husband and make with the lemsip pronto you fat git.

Tim Leatherbarrow said...

Ah i've just buried her in the back garden, saves all the messin' around ,cuts out the middle man so to speak.....Damn the dogs just come in spreading muck all over the floor ,with one of her thigh bones clamped between his teeth.

john said...

Glad to see your not overdoing the diet and exercise ....you need to take it easy !!!
Hope your wife is soon better....then you can dig her up and put her back to work!!!
How's the painting classes going?

Tim Leatherbarrow said...

Ah skool seemed like a good idea at the time ,but i keep mean to go back , but dying families, even bits of work have got me into the studio so i'm trying to teach myself how to paint ,etc, i'm resigned to not being able to use the computer. But the course was for people going to university and there wasnt much tutoring for me ,i'd have been better ,possibly going to a life drawing class. So i think i'll give it a kick in the teeth ,anyhow their posh canteen did a lousy bacon butty.

Thud said...

Tim.... 2 coats in one day?

Tim Leatherbarrow said...

Ach mein fuhrer ,one appartment,2 coats ,not like that cigar puffing Churchill.......