Wednesday 19 May 2010

WWW.FFF-IN'.COMPUTER.DEADSTOP.COM

Some of the sharper eyed of you out there will have noticed the more than usual irregular examples of rantings and ravings and all round blatherings lately. This is partly due to a severe case of pure unadulterated bone idleness on my part. But when ,with a superhuman burst of effort i dragged my lazy arse to the drawing board and got to it. When i'd finally produced something. I'm not saying it was worth the effort of producing it, or, for that matter of reading it. But it took time so that was your lot. wether you liked it or not. I sat at the computer to post the rubbish on the blog. But the computer just wasnt having it. I'm no fan of computers but a critical computer! I'm not standing for that. The internet and world wide web,etc,etc are very wonderful and clever things. The whole planet connected by photons and electrons whizzing about at almost the speed of light. Except here. Our computers photons and electrons dont so much whizz as move with the speed of a peanut sinking in a bowl of porridge. In our hi- speed age ,our computer harks back to a slower more relaxed time .

The slow workings of the computer can be forgiven, as me n' it are very similar and are alike in lots of ways. But what drives me up the wall is when it comes to a dead stop. As the computer screen freezes and i cant change pages ,move it up down across or shake it all about. Its inanimation gets me animated, into a totally psychotic rage .Where i want to smash and destroy and kill this already dead machine 'stone dead'. Then theres a slight flicker and the damn thing works up until the next hiccup. It has become a battle of wills with me n' the computer. If for a moment i let my guard down and show satisfaction with the computers progress. It will pounce and cut out on me. I have to intimidate it from start to finish. I sit in front with a CLINT EASTWOOD squint(Post DIRTY HARRY mid 1970's, best Eastwood squinting years.) and hopefully i'll get lucky with that punk computer.

6 comments:

Hypervox said...

If it's any consolation Tim, my job is to work with/repair these damn things every day - no wonder my hair has fallen out...

Tim Leatherbarrow said...

You have my sympathy, sir. Now i come to think about it, my first grey hairs made an appearence around the time we got our first computer. Mind you ,you do look very hairy on your picture, or is that just you frothing at the mouth with an uncontrollable seething rage and hatred of computers....I get that, the dog thinks i've got rabies and keeps his distance and the wife wants me 'put down'.

Thud said...

You hotmail account seems to be sending junk mail too...you seem to have problems.

Tim Leatherbarrow said...

Bloody vindictive heap o' shite getting its own back. Hell hath no fury as a computer scorned. Sorry about that people.

Thud said...

Well at least you didn't try to sell me any viagra!

Tim Leatherbarrow said...

Actually now you come to mention it!!!!!!
Tim on 5% commission